Foster Care Book: Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - It Does Not Take a Village to Raise a Child

There obviously are people who believe: "It takes a village to raise a child." Since Hillary Clinton dragged that phrase over from her visit to Africa and wrote her book, the phrase has been picked up (and repeated at every opportunity) by the very organizations and people who should be trying to keep families together and reduce the number of foster children.

That may be true in some parts of the globe but it certainly is NOT true in the United States. In my judgment, that phrase is one of the reasons why more and more children are becoming foster children. There are several reasons why continuing to use that phrase sends the wrong message:

· The fathers of the children get the message that since the ’village’ is going to raise his child, he can leave for greener pastures. Therefore we have a growing number of abandoned women and children.

· The mother gets the message that it is OK for her to use drugs and/or alcohol because the ’village’ will raise her child.

· Both parents get the message that they can ignore their child because the ’village’ will raise the child.

· The child gets the message that he/she does not have to rely on mom and dad for support, discipline and direction because the ’village’ will provide those things. He/she also gets the message that society thinks it’s OK for mom and dad to abandon me.

· Government agencies get the message that since the ’village’ is going to raise the child, they need to provide more and more tax money to support children being raised by the ’village.’

These should not be the messages sent. The messages we should be sending are the exact opposite.

People who spout the ’village’ phrase go to great lengths to list all the people who are involved with children to try to convince me that ’it does take a village to raise a child.’ They list people such as doctors, teachers, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, etc., etc. You know what! I have never once heard them say, "The child is raised by the parents." Each of the people mentioned, of course, provides support to the child but that support is generally, and should always be, at the request of the parents. In many, many cases, the people mentioned do more harm than good. Every person in the country has the support systems which we all use, that does not mean it takes a village for us to be productive. Why does a child need more than their parents who will use the support system if they believe it is necessary. It takes two good solid parents to determine when the support system is needed and more importantly, when it IS NOT! This country is making everything too easy. It is easy to get a divorce. It is easy to file for bankruptcy. It is too easy to sue someone (everyone for everything). AND it is easy to dump children on society so the village can raise them. Like many other things in life, raising a child is difficult That does not mean we should send the message that we will make it easy (like we try to make everything else) for you as a parent by having society (the village) raise your child. More and more of the good parents who take their responsibility seriously are going to ’in home’ schooling because of the terrible subjects being taught in public schools. Also, the equally terrible environment created because of the lack of discipline in the schools.

The effect (or lack of effect) of professional therapy was discussed earlier. In short, the two parents who care and take the responsibility of raising a child seriously are the only ones who can instill ethics, honesty, manners and all the other traits essential to make an individual a positive influence on society and his/her peers. The message that needs to be sent is:

IT TAKES TWO DEDICATED PARENTS TO PROPERLY RAISE A CHILD!

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