Foster Care Book: Chapter 18
Chapter 18 - Therapy
We are torn as far as professional therapy is concerned. On the one hand, we are convinced that verbal therapy is worthwhile. As mentioned earlier, verbal therapy is the great time consumer for foster parents. We spend a great deal of time with our kids in our own brand of therapy trying to help them find out where they are, why they do things they shouldn’t, how they feel, teaching morals and ethics, etc.
The foster parent verbal therapy may take the form of correction or congratulation neither of which is very useful unless it happens immediately so that the child can make an immediate connection. We have always believed THE LIFE OF A TEENAGER IS INSTANTANEOUS!
Most teenagers cannot envision anything any farther in the future than one hour. Planning, focusing, reality, etc. are foreign to most foster children, especially boys. The girls seem to be able to look farther ahead and plan, however reality is a problem for them. The boys seem to respond to immediate stimulation and cannot think any farther ahead than the immediate stimulation.
For instance, a girl calls and says, "Come on over." He hangs up the phone and immediately sets off forgetting all other things such as: He is supposed to ask permission, he is supposed to let us know where he is going, he is supposed to tell us when he will be back, he has homework due tomorrow, he is supposed to work for a neighbor this afternoon, etc. When the girl snaps her fingers, life now becomes centered totally on her. It would be nice if it worked that way when studies are involved!
The other prevalent teen age tendency is to want all manner of THINGS! Our current charge had to have a bike right now! I can’t wait! We found a bike for him about two months ago. He has ridden it four times. We bought him his own TV and a Nintendo. He played games constantly for about a week; hasn’t touched it since!
We are of the belief that chemical therapy is not only of no use but frequently gets the child ’hooked.’ The concept of ’hyper’ children has been foisted on society by therapists. There are many teenagers who are ’hyper.’ I was ’hyper’ until I was forty. I never went anywhere without running. I always wanted to get things done in a hurry (and still do). I, many times, did things on the ’spur of the moment.’ I hate to pop the therapist’s bubble but all of that is fun and no one, including self serving therapists, has the right to take away the drive, the feeling of loving life and just the outright fun of living from any child by prescribing drugs. This country has gone drug happy. It appears it has become impossible to solve any social problem without drugs. The drug of choice has become Ritalin. That, of course, is being sold on the street by the very kids for which the therapist prescribed it. Others were in pain if their prescription ran out. That’s being hooked! That’s withdrawal! Even if it isn’t physical withdrawal, the kid obviously believes he has to have the stuff and that is mental dependence. We teach the kids the therapy jargon and convince them that they must be depended on drugs to function. They, then believe it and even if we gave them placebos they would think they were dependent. In World War Two it was called brain washing.
We are of the opinion that drugs are prescribed for teenagers because it’s easier for the teachers, the parents and the therapist to handle the problem if the kid is stupefied with drugs Take nightmares for example. Most kids have nightmares. I have no idea why but that seems to be a part of growing up. I had nightmares, all of my siblings had nightmares, my grandchildren have nightmares. They outgrow it! They do not need drugs to keep them from having nightmares! Are the drugs given to help the kid or the care giver? For crying out loud - - leave the kids alone and let them grow up as kids instead of like zombies!
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© Chuck Slate
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