Foster Care Book: Chapter 14
Chapter 14 - House Rules
Most of the children will readily agree to the ’house rules’ because they just want to get settled as soon as possible. Most of the time they haven’t the foggiest idea what all the rules will mean and will readily agree. The rules of our home are as follows:
HOUSE RULES for TEENAGERS LIVING AT THE SLATE RESIDENCE
REQUIRED BY THE TEENAGERS
2. No persons of the opposite sex are permitted in the bedrooms at the same time for any reason or at any time. Children of the same sex must get permission to visit another child’s bedroom. Bathroom use is limited to one person at a time. This rule applies whether the children are visiting or are members of the family.
3. Prior permission is required for all outside activities including going to neighbors, visiting friends, after school activities, etc. If you are missing for more than 30 minutes without the Slates knowing where you are, you will be considered a runaway and the Police Department will be notified.
4. Prior permission must be given before riding in anyone else’s vehicle.
5. School will be attended, as required by law. Any grade below C is unacceptable. A C is considered OK but you should strive for As and Bs. Homework will be completed, required by the teachers! You will find that the Slates will almost always support the teacher or principal when dealing with disputes between you and the school authorities. The school punishment will be mild compared to the home punishment!
6. Telephone calls will be limited to no longer than fifteen minutes each and limited to a reasonable number per day. (The Slates will define the number allowed based upon whether the privilege is being abused.) No phone calls (in or out) after 10:00 PM. NO long distance or 900 calls will be made!
7. Household chores will be assigned and completed. Chores will be assigned shortly after arrival.
8. Attendance at meals and family is compulsory unless permission is obtained in advance. All food is to be eaten in dining areas unless special permission is granted.
9. No hard rock, heavy metal, rap or any music that contains profane language. No magazines, clothing or posters that contain any of the above. Questionable materials must be reviewed by the foster parents before they are allowed.
10. Stereos, walkmans, TVs, etc. must be turned off at bedtime. Any violation will result in the loss of the offending item for one week.
11. Clothing will be appropriate and acceptable to the Slates. What is and is not acceptable will be defined by the Slates and will depend to some extent on what clothing you have available in your wardrobe. We will do our best to be consistent.
12. All lights (except for one night light) must be extinguished at bedtime.
13. Bedtimes are, as follows: Ages 10-12 - 8:30PM Ages 13-15 - 9:00 PM on school nights and 10:00 PM on Friday and Saturday Ages 16 and 17 - 10:00 PM on school nights and 11:00 PM on Friday and Saturday nights.
(Later bedtimes may be allowed for special occasions. Curfews will be ½ hour earlier than bedtimes. Curfews and bedtimes may be adjusted depending upon the time of the year and behavior of the individual).
14. Your room will be kept clean and the bed made every day.
15. The bed sheets will be changed and washed once a week.
16. A shower or bath is required at least once every other day and every day is preferable. Bnishing teeth after every meal is required.
17. There will be no drinking of alcoholic beverages, use of illegal drugs or tobacco products at any time or any place.
18. Matches, lighters or any other means of starting a fire are not pe~itted and should never be on your person.
19. Computers will NOT be used without permission.
20. You may watch what you want on TV, with one caveat, the Slates may ask you not to watch certain channels or shows. If asked not to watch something, you are required to follow instructions.
21. Agitating behavior such as: scaring others (including pets) being rude, threatening, teasing, stealing and refusing to answer are not acceptable behaviors.
22. A weekly allowance will be provided. The amount of the allowance is negotiable depending upon age, amount of chores, ability to handle money, etc. How the allowance is used will be also be controlled.
23. You are required to clean up your own messes and not to make any unless its an accident. This applies to keeping your shower and bathroom clean at all times.
23. The Slates will inspect your living area from time to time to be sure the rules are being followed.
24. The Slates require your side of mutual trust.
PROVIDED BY THE SLATES
1. Room and board.
2. Transportation, as necessary.
3. Advice and counsel whether you want it or not.
4. Weekly allowance
5. Respect for you and your space.
6. Acceptance as a member of the family.
7. You will always be told the truth without exception. "I don’t know" or "I won’t tell you that" are acceptable truthful responses.
8. You can always expect that we will do what we say we will do. There may be times when something we have said we would do needs to be postponed. Postponements will always come with an explanation as to why it is necessary.
9. We will provide our side of mutual trust.
10. A great deal of discipline!
11. Lots and lots of love!
Since these are house rules, obviously there may be one or more that do not apply to your home or there may be others that you feel are required. A good sentence to add might be that changes will be made, as necessary.
As was stated earlier, the main reason children are remanded to the foster care system is the fault of the parents. The reasons we have so many bad parents can be written in several books. I do not intend to discuss the reasons, but almost all stem from the deterioration of families. This is a direct result of a steadily increasing decadent society that has lost any semblance of morals or ethics. It has also lost the ability or desire to discipline children. There are also many reasons for this but the main culprit is the lack of recognition by the liberals that they have created a monster. When I was in business, we constantly asked, "What have we done wrong so that we can correct it?" The liberals just seem to charge ahead at all costs with no thought at all given to the effect their policies are having on the country. Sorry -- I got on one of my pet peeve soap boxes there for a while.
The children placed in foster care are fighting an up hill battle from the first day they arrive in a foster care home. The children, of course, do not realize what is happening to them and why they feel as they do. All we, as foster parents, can do is to provide the life style that will show them the other side of how to live. We can only hope that they will somehow be able to accept the new life style and succeed! If they succeed -- we have succeeded! I have told many of our foster children that the reason I am sometimes angry with them is because when they do not follow the rules I feel I have failed.
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